Sunday, April 24, 2005

Stupid internet got me again. I was all ready to work on my presentation for the conference in Long Beach next week at 7 tonight. Then I thought I'd "just check out" this website for military women, wives, girlfriends, and fiances. Now look what time it is! Damn discussion boards.

I've been working at the big Fiber Gallery sale this weekend. Many people came, and much fiber was purchased (far to much by me). Prepared shoppers came with a list, to help them stay focused in the 40% off frey. I found one such list that had been dropped at the end of the day:

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I hope she was able to find what she needed after losing it...

And since reading was the only thing I accomplished today, I may as well share this funny from it:

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending a Company Party.

Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all.

He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table eating.

Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. "You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing at the right time .. Priceless.


At 12:21 AM, Blogger Jessica said...

Oh, I love that shopping list. It was the first thing I told Wes about when I got home.

At 9:41 PM, Anonymous rebecca said...

i laughed out loud at the shopping list, and chez bribecca had a chuckle at the joke too. it's probably just as well i missed the sale. sigh.


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